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After graduating college, I was mad. As you've probably read, the cost of higher education is higher than ever. And students are graduating with huge student debt loads and no jobs.
I graduated NYU Film School in 1999 with honors and no idea how to make a movie. I found little of what I'd learned in school to be valuable, and I had lots of student loans.
In 2006, I tried making my first feature film and learned more in those 3 months than I ever did in film school. I raised $30,000 for the movie in 60 days, but fell short of my total goal of $250,000. I was pretty disappointed. But more than anything, I was furious that all the things I'd taught myself about the business of movies, such as fundraising, marketing, casting, and so on, were things I never learned in school. I kept thinking about the thousands of dollars my family had given the school that I could have used towards my movie. It seemed like such a waste.
I became obsessed with this anger towards my alma matter. I kept meeting other NYU Film and New York Film Academy grads in LA who had as much as $70,000 in debt and no idea how to make a real movie. This fueled my anger even more. I couldn't understand how the school could keep charging all this money but provide such little practical value to its students, then leave them to fend for themselves in the brutal film business.
I would complain about this to my friends over and over, until during one car ride they yelled at me to shut up. I realized I'd become overcome by my resentment, and it was affecting my life in a major way. I was so consumed with this feeling I had a hard time even writing any new movie projects.
So I decided to write a book. I channeled all of my frustration into a 160 page expose about NYU Film School and their 4 year curriculum. Looking back, I was amazed that I'd not dropped out sooner. The first year we never touched a film camera. We took photos and wrote essays about movies. By the 2nd year I was making little short movies like I'd done in high school. By graduation I'd been taught nothing about securing employment, writing a resume, or promoting myself to investors or producers.
My book was called "Film Fooled" and I posted it on Lulu.com. It felt good to "get it out", but something was missing. I submitted the book to be reviewed by some peer filmmaking websites. The feedback was devastating. While they thought it was somewhat funny, they felt it was just a 160 page rant.
I realized they were right. For years I'd been complaining about the problem I'd seen with film schools without providing any real solution.
At the same time, I'd begun to learn about internet marketing, building websites, and SEO. I saw I could build a website that would reach people looking for film schools... but what would my message be? I realized I was just coming across as a bitter graduate who hadn't become famous and hadn't even completed his first movie. I felt I had something to share with beginners but it was hidden under all that resentment.
So I decided to answer the challenge and provide my own detailed alternative to film school. I had no idea what it would look like. But the fuel of that anger transformed into something positive and inspiring, and I was shocked to realize that my seeming failures in the past were actually rich learning experiences that provided me with some really solid advice to give young people.
In about 2 weeks, I created a course I call "Film School Secrets". It was an 8 module online course with over 4 hours of videos, documents, and step by step instructions for aspiring filmmakers about how to get their career started. I talked about all the things I wished they'd addressed in school: how to get on real film sets, meet real filmmakers, start planning your first feature, how to manage a set, distribution, using the internet to build an audience, special f/x and a lot more.
I felt so darn good about this course, whether anyone bought it or not, because I suddenly felt free of all that resentment. I was still critical of the schools, but now I had a concrete solution for young people to latch on to that I knew would be valuable and make a difference.
After 9 months online, the site has been steadily increasing in traffic and sales. But more importantly, the feedback I've been getting from students is incredibly fulfilling. I've had students from the U.S. and abroad write me glowing letters of thanks for providing them with a way they can start making movies without school. It leaves them feeling inspiring and empowered.
It's amazing to me how this has altered my life. I am no millionaire, but I have my own business that brings in passive income. I was able to transform years of resentment and anger into something that helps, empowers and delights people. And I get to make money doing it. I feel lighter, happier, and more fulfilled.
Anger isn't a bad thing, it is a fuel. The only problem is when it isn't used correctly. I allowed it to fester in me for years, which was very painful. But if you do feel anger, don't resist it. Allow it to provide you the energy to transform it into something positive. My anger gave me the energy I needed to spend hours building my website and course. I worked furiously (no pun intended) on the whole project. And now that it's complete and helping people, the anger has disappeared and I am grateful for it, because it helped me create something beautiful and helpful for others.
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